.jpg) In the years before a child becomes a bar or bat mitzvah, parents plan. The child prepares. And everyone prays that the family's proud moment will come off without a hitch. Sandy Tanen and Ron Hirschberg, a suburban Boston couple, went through all of the prescribed pre-bat mitzvah processes. Her daughter, Miriam Fuchs, wanted to take this monumental step in Jewish life outdoors in Israel, and the family made the myriad arrangements.
But a month before the big day, for safety's sake, they decided to move the ceremony and celebration to U.S. soil.
The bat mitzvah ceremony was scheduled for late December 2000, a time when terrorist bombs were detonating on a daily basis throughout Israel. Despite warnings from everyone they know, the family held on to the hope that the situation would calm down enough so they could carry out their plans.
But by Thanksgiving, they had a foreboding feeling that it wouldn't, and they decided that a change of venue would be prudent.
They consulted with their cantor, Lorel Zar-Kessler, and considered having the service at their temple, Congregation Beth El of the Sudbury River Valley. Although Shabbos dates in December were taken, the bat mitzvah ceremony could have taken place on a Monday or Thursday at the shul.
Since Fuchs had already put so much effort into learning her Torah portion and Haftorah and preparing a d'var Torah, changing to another week was out of the question. And after years of dreaming about the day – becoming bat mitzvah under a bright blue sky in Israel – shifting the scene to a building near Boston would have been a big disappointment.
Zar-Kessler, aware of the family's desire to retain an outdoor location, came up with a practical solution to their perplexing problem – Rabbi Mike.
Rabbi Mike Comins is an unusual rabbi. Based in Jackson, Wy., Comins, affectionately known as Rabbi Mike, is the spiritual leader of the Jackson Hole Chaverim and the guiding force behind TorahTrek (torahtrek.com on the Web), an enterprise that brings Jews back into the wilderness.
While not exactly time-travel trips, Comins-led journeys are designed to reestablish a link to the past, and cement an outdoor connection for many Jews, cowhands and city slickers alike. And whether a participant exhibits back country bravado or is frightened by anything with fur, his adventures can provide an opportunity to study Torah al fresco, learn new skills, have fun, explore American's flora, fauna and fantastic terrain, and experience an exalted sense of spirituality through prayer and meditation that naturally surfaces in an organic setting. The great outdoors is packed with places that can serve as a synagogue without walls.
To say that making last-minute arrangements for a bat mitzvah road show was stressful would be an understatement. But Tanen said, “We received much comfort from Rabbi Mike in phone conversations. He's a great person to work with!”
Comins, officially a “half-time rabbi” at his 100-member congregation, was the ideal rabbi for the Fuchs bat mitzvah celebration. The family wanted an outdoor service in a special setting that was meaningful to them.
The Thursday morning ceremony was held between the boulders, in the Mojave Desert just outside Joshua Tree National Park, less than an hour's drive from Palm Springs, Calif.
“We're rock climbers. We've been coming to the California desert and Joshua Tree for about 10 years,” said Tanen, whose family thought it was fitting to hold the service in a place where many fulfilling vacation days have been spent hiking and scaling the heights of the area.
How did a rabbi who grew up in Los Angeles give up the glamour and glitz, and become a desert-and-mountain man? It's a long story—an international quest of introspection, a journey through Judaism – that I will attempt to condense.
A graduate of the University of California at Los Angeles, Comins served as regional advisor for the Southern California Federation of Temple Youth and Rosh Eida at UAHC Camp Swig. Then he moved to Israel and did some serious study at a yeshiva in Jerusalem and Hebrew University, where he received an M.A. in Jewish education.
About the same time he received ordination from Hebrew Union College (Israeli rabbinical program), he earned his license as an Israeli desert guide. Ever since then, he has balanced his passions for both worlds, spiritual and geographical.
So taking a sefer Torah out of the darkness of the Ark and carrying it into the daylight of a desert morning is not just an act of serendipity for him. It's profoundly symbolic.
In the few weeks prior to the bat mitzvah ceremony, Tanen and Comins personalized the service during telephone conferences.
Fuchs chanted and sang, and consulted with Comins via the phone, too. She continued to practice, adding polish to her performance. And by the time the family arrived in California, Comins was confident that Fuchs would do well.
Since Fuchs is part of a blended family, three sets of grandparents were in attendance. And while younger members of the family could have hiked to a more remote spot, a Native American ceremonial site not too far from the road was selected.
The congregation consisted of about 20 close family members, many coming from as far away as Massachusetts and Florida. And although sitting on camp stools and folding chairs couldn't have been very comfortable, the spectacular scenery and inspirational words more than made up for the not-so-plush seating.
“It was a very intimate and spiritual service. Almost everyone participated,” said Tanen. After the service, everyone attended a modest reception and dinner. And many members of the extended family got together again for assorted activities until it was time to head for home.
Tanen summed up the whole experience this way, “It would have been nice to have the ceremony in Israel, where we have strong religious and historic connections. But, the desert is a very spiritual place, and everything turned out for the best.”
The way a Jewish family celebrates life-cycle events and experiences instances of spirituality is of primary concern to Comins, who is definitely not a fan of ostentatious presentations.
“We brought the basics – chairs, siddurim, a sefer Torah and a table. The scenery – huge boulders and desert sage – reminds one of the Book of Numbers. Desert beauty inspires awe, and the feeling of Divine presence is quite tangible.”
“Tens of thousands of Jews [in this country] frequent the wilderness. Many ask, ‘Where do I find God?' They prefer a beautiful mountain or river to being in a building,” said Comins.
“When a [Jewish] person's most spiritual experience is not connected to Judaism, it's not just a missed opportunity. It's damaging because the message is that Judaism has no connection to or influence on a person's most spiritual moments.”
And Comins has this advice for families of future b'nai mitzvah – if throwing a big party makes you happy, do it. But also do something more meaningful. Go on a family adventure, near or far. Try something spiritual.
How a family commemorates this passage into adulthood has a big impact on a young person's life.
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